Tuesday, 5 July 2011

Another day, another drama

Another night full of emotion, tears, and the crap that comes with this absolute prat of an illness.
Been to see my old English Literature teacher for some non-judgemental comforting and wise words.
Have been convincing myself all day that my boyfriend of 2 years doesn't want to be with me anymore.
I rung my psychiatrist and apparently he said he is referring me to a doctor (still in CAMHS) who can assess my medication, and also suggested I go back onto 20mg as I am clearly not doing so well without it. He didn't seem to care about how badly I was doing, however.
I am not seeing much point to many things right now, and no matter how many people I talk to or how much I try, it doesn't seem to be getting much better.

So I am going to wrap myself up early in bed tonight, try and sleep, maybe have a little cry, and try to be strong. Trying seems to absorb a lot of my energy though, however. I wish smiling came naturally.
Even this dismal weather has reflected my mood, it has dramatically turned from bright and sunny to dark and rainy.

I just can't.

No comments:

Post a Comment