Wednesday, 6 July 2011

Insurance choices, and making work choices...

Choices, fucking choices.

I took the day off today and after a short trip to the dentist (which left me with toothache, ouch), my mother and I went up to Oxford Street/Regent Street to visit Westminster University, my second choice of university and my insurance choice, just behind City.
What I love about Westminster is the idea of taking a year out to work in a psychological setting, which the university pay for. I think that would assist me nicely and would probably benefit me getting a job when I leave, and that was the main reason I chose it as my insurance choice. I also had a great feeling about the choice of modules, especially for the third year. I also love the location, obviously I have worked in that location for, but this is education, so it doesn't matter to me.
I am slightly worried however about the lower grade boundaries required for entry. They want ABB, which I understand, but it seems to be the highest grade boundaries they require for any subject. Of course, ABB is good, but it is not top and high up in the league tables in comparison to City. I keep trying to tell myself that no matter what university I go to, I will get the same degree and work as hard as I usually do. But there is that perfectionist side of me which says no, I must get my degree in the 2nd top university for Psychology in London.

However, after visiting, I can say that although I will be gutted if I didn't get into City (chances are I won't), then Westminster will still be a nice back up option.

Anyway, on that note of education/work,
My mother once again has been pressurising me to get a job now that she thinks I am better. She asked me to email an agency she knows well who can basically guarentee me office temp work over the summer. However where she works (where I have previously done my work experience and have worked with her many times prior to that) has a position coming up for some summer work in her office, will be paid full price, and she has been going on at me all day of the benefits of it.
Yes, I understand. I have worked there before and it's a nice place to be, friendly people, nice atmosphere. Plus having a little bit of money is always a bonus. But I can see myself getting sick. And once again however, I can't find myself the courage and confidence to say no to my own mother, meaning I will work, and get more sick with stress.

Two more days of Sixth Form until activities week, and now I am home from a busy day all I want to do is curl up and hide from the world.
I miss Nathan. He doesn't make everything better but he definatly helps with his cuddles. And he is working late shifts all this week so there really is no chance of me seeing him before the weekend, unless he comes to visit me perhaps at lunchtime for a little while.
I miss having someone always there. And the more I write this blog the more I want to curl up so I am going to go now.
Also feeling pretty fat and hideous today, typical day in the life of me I guess!


  1. You are not fat or hideous. Don't be ridiculous woman! And we all find it difficult to say no to our parents but maybe if you find another job with less hours that you prefer you could convince your mum you want to try a different atmosphere and try and blend with new people or something?

  2. You look ill in your pictures and that is not the definition of fat.
    As for university.
    It is hard and I can tell you, studying psychology is HARD.
    So try to lessen the pressure on yourself to achieve "the best."
    Ultimately, getting a job in the field has more to do with experience than grades, and I can say that because I work in the field and don't have a degree in psychology.
    I did a degree that engaged me in a million other ways and then when I was fully recovered went the psychology root.
    There are many options and right now the biggest is YOUR HEALTH.
    I understand that push to be "the best" but there will always be someone better, some better university, a course that is better etc
    It is the way of the world.

    So try to ease the pressure.
    I tend to do better when I don't stress about work.

    As for the placement...
    I think that is an excellent way of testing whether you would cope in that setting, but again, I would insist you be recovered because not only is it intense work, patients tend to know when we are not quite right and ask a LOT of questions ;)

    You need to be you.
    And you need to put you first.
    And that is ALL that matters {{{hugs}}}