Friday, 11 May 2012

I finally had the guts to go and speak to Mr Belas yesterday. He is my English teacher, one of them - and is one who I feel I can trust and whom I hold an awful amount of respect for - not just in how intelligent he is but in life in general.

Of course, he delivered. I came into his room in a complete mess. I had just come back from lunch with my Nan and needed to come back into school to see Mr Christophy, but I still felt rough, felt that if I went home my thoughts would occupy themselves and manifest. And bless his heart, he really helped. He helped set my mind in perspective a little about the upcoming exams - at least for that evening anyway, and calmed me down an awful lot.

Exam period begins next Tuesday - Media Studies.
Done tons of past papers for Mr Christophy, and finally managed to get an A on one today - so the prospects for Tuesdays exam are looking good. Although knowing my luck, as has been for the past two exams, I will fail once more.

I need to find a constructive way of installing confidence into myself right now as I have lost it entirely.
I have neglected so many people at the moment as well - Amy, my teacher who lives in Grantham who is struggling a little, and just friends and family who need my support and I can't deliver that at the same time as delivering A-grade work. Just feel a bit pathetic, need a lot of time to myself to think.

I miss Ireland as well. I found this yesterday and it made me tear up so much:

Was thinking about this earlier. Ireland. My family. How much my uncle should have been in these photos.

Getting a bit teary eyed just thinking of these times.

^ This is a picture of me and my uncle a few years before he died. My uncle is on the left of me. What an amazing man. 

Will leave you with these nice Ireland 2012 photos - I hope things get better from here.
Will speak soon.

1 comment:

  1. Looks like you got the chat that you needed and Mr Belas sounds like a fantastic teacher.

    Understand what you're saying about all the people you want to support, but at the moment, to paraphrase the wisdom that is Mikey from The Goonies, "This is YOUR time."

    Friends, family and the people who care for and love you will understand that, at the moment, you need to get you head into the exams you need. They have been around for you for a long time beforehand these exams and they'll be there for you for a long time after.

    I hope things get better for you too. You're a lovely friend to know and in the relatively short time that we've got to know each other, you've been awesome every time that we've tweeted.

    PS - You look lovely in the wedding photos.