Sunday, 3 June 2012

Last day of Sixth Form...

So, Wednesday was my last ever full teaching day in Chingford Foundation School:

The girls :)

This guy is an absolute legend, has never taught me but used to be Nathan's form tutor and also is my neighbour!

My media class. Granted, not my favourite class, but I'll miss them all anyway.

English Lit class - with my two favourite teachers at the top, Mr Belas and Mrs Betts.

I am already so relieved to have left. The last day was a little bit of a blur for me, including that I had to leave early to assist a friend who was in trouble. There were so many goodbyes and so many writing in leaving books which I guess I didn't really partake in, I wanted a few pictures as reminders of the times there and then I just wanted to be rid of the place.
Saying goodbye to teachers was probably the worst part. I wrote letters to three of my English teachers, two in the pictures above, which said everything that I needed to say. I went to visit other English teachers to say goodbye. I also went to see my old form tutor from years 7-11 which was sad. She was around when my anorexia and self-harm begun and saw me as an unhappy teenager just trying to find her way through all the shit that was happening around her. And it was sad. It really was.
But it has also enabled me to realise something. About a year ago, getting ready to embark into my final year once more at the Sixth Form, I never thought I would be getting to the end and finally sitting exams and finally making choices about my future. Of course, it is something so simple for some people, just getting through Sixth Form and going to university - but for me it was just that much harder.
And knowing that I have 23 days until I reach the end of the Sixth Form journey, exams, and education at this school has enabled me to realise how far I have come. There have been so many times where I wanted to give up, where I wanted to die, and disappear altogether. But I kept strong and I kept going. And I have made so much progress which I realise now. And it makes me so happy to finally realise that.

So no, Sixth Form may not have been the best experience for me. But I have accomplished something, even if it isn't high exam grades in August. It's accomplishing happiness, and I'm already on the way there.

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