Luckily, it's all happy things on the agenda at the moment, which I guess explains my lack of posting, I have been so busy and hectic. Spent a lovely few days in Bath recently, of which pictures shall be recorded here:
I also had the opportunity to visit Highclere Castle, where Downton Abbey is filmed! Downton Abbey is one of my favourite television shows, so it's fair to say I was a little excited. Picture above ^
After that lovely mini-break I returned to work today in my new store, and things have been lovely so far, the staff are very friendly and the customers are a lot nicer than in the store I was training in!
So overall, things are on the up.
I made a video last night about people 'giving up' on recovery, and my reaction to that and why you should never give up on recovery.
I'm not going to lie and say that once I never 'gave up' during my recovery processes from depression/anorexia, but it was the positive mindset I tried to maintain and the people around me that pulled me through and enabled me to realise that there is much more to life than lying in bed all day because you are too depressed to move or taking continuous overdoses!I've been seeing a lot of negativity at the moment, especially on Twitter, regarding recovery. It can get a lot to handle, especially for someone who works as hard as possible to try and help those struggling and feels pangs of guilt when she can't.
People keep saying to me recently, 'well this happened to you because of this....I refuse to believe that in myself and that could never happen to me' - well it can and it will. I struggled even since the age that I was able to feel and process thoughts with negative self-hate which can be found on early school reports, that I lacked confidence and seemed to dislike everything I did. I'm almost 20 now and to go through all the years of negativity to some amazing months of positive ones is the biggest step forward I could ever have made, and I am so proud.I wouldn't consider myself recovered, and to be frank I don't really know what I consider recovered to be. But I do see a change within myself that can be applicable to ANYONE struggling, anyone can change, however hard it may be or however difficult your circumstances are, I firmly believe that everybody has the ability to make progress and move forward with their lives and recover. There's going to be obstacles along the way but how are you even going to know if you don't try?
It's a massive pressure on me to try to help everybody and be there for everybody, but I hope I can be the voice of empowerment and motivation to kickstart the recovery and kickstart a new life.I finally finished my A-levels and I have a job now, two things I never thought would be possible many years ago. I dropped out of Sixth Form and had to quit my job and never thought I would ever be allowed to come back to school after many relapses but now look at me? A-levels are done, no matter what grades I get I have plans and I won't give up because in life, you just can't give up. YOU CAN'T.
Giving up seems like the easiest thing you can do. But actually, it's one of the hardest things you can ever do to yourself. You're just letting yourself suffer the same problem over and over again and nothing is being done about it. Take the first step, whether it be today, or tomorrow, and do something positive for yourself that isn't just positive for your recovery but that is positive for YOU.
Everything in this blog I mean 100000000x over and will keep on saying it until it sinks in.
I love and believe in every single one of you.