2012 wasn't a very good year for me. Nothing particularly happened which I would refer to as 'achievement' worthy, and as a huge perfectionist, I love to achieve. Looking back on the year, I have no idea what I actually done with it!
And that makes me sad. For whatever reason, this year lacked a lot of goodness and excitement which previous years had or had not done. Sounds sad but I don't recognise my A-level results as achievements, and I don't recognise my job as an achievement and I look at myself and feel disgust at how little I have achieved as a mere 20 year old girl.
Of course, I want that to change next year. I'm determined to do it, as always, but the prospect of a new year is always rather overwhelming. There is always some immense pressure to be a 'perfect' person, with new resolutions and targets.
I used to be that kind of person that set resolutions for absolutely everything An utmost perfectionist at heart, I'd make a huge list of ways I could be 'better', knowing full well it was unrealistic. And back in the way, my ways to be 'better' were through not eating and exercising loads, and of course, completely unhealthy. I have been making lists this year, but they are ways of bettering myself in a positive way, in a way that is going to benefit myself and those around me. In a way that is going to allow me to feel as if I have accomplished something.
2013 could be a huge year for me, but only if I make it that way. It's in my power to assure that I make it the best of my ability, and I can't turn the blame on anybody else in that respect.
I'm starting my brand new degree in February, and diving right back into studying again. Am extremely excited and motivated to get organised. And being a student again is going to be strange, but rewarding and exciting. I am currently learning to drive, so progress with that will be an achievement. Things are looking up with my boyfriend in regard to his career, with the prospect of a new job for him just around the corner, the job he has always dreamed of - which may mean we can begin to progress forth as a couple.
I guess some of my goals for this year are not unachievable, but incredibly scary. I wish to move out of the world of retail at some point this year, which involves a huge revamp of my CV and making a point of my achievements. I want to expand on my creative writing in preparation for writing goals later on in my life. I want to travel and visit my friends at University, York, Kent, Edge Hill, Brunel, Warwick. I want to witness my best friends at their graduation ceremonies which will be occuring this year. I want to celebrate turning 21 in style. I want to go abroad for the first time. I want to develop a healthy relationship and attitude towards my body (although that, I am aware, is going to take much longer than a year).
I also want to learn to relax next year, as I seriously struggle to. To make time for myself as well as others. To keep myself healthy and to look after my well-being. Because as well as looking after others, we need to look after ourselves.
I believe I can make this a good year, and I'm hoping you all can join me. What are your positive goals for the new year?
I also hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. I'll leave you with some pictures of my year - pictures are not in order of when these events occured for some reason, hence why my hair changes a lot throughout the picture!
Happy 2013! Let's make it a good, recovery focused, one.
Hit Factory Live - December 2012 - the night I saw Kylie and Jason perform 'Especially for you'
Our 4th Christmas together!
Charlotte's gypsy 18th!
Florence + the Machine, with Tanya!
Race for Life 2012 with Gracie!
The night I found out I got the job at Mothercare! A bit to drink by this point!
IRELAND! One of the highlights of my year.
I met the beautiful Michelle this year!
Christmas 2012 - my parents!
My brief stint at Kingston!
Fancy dress party!
Leaving school - FOR GOOD
Standard night in at Charlotte's!
20th birthday celebrations!
I visited Downton Abbey!
Drag queen times!
Drunk, I think!
Family wedding with my boyfriends family!
Smith, Hodge and I - pub times!
My class picture with my form - 13O!
My beautiful cousin, Ireland times!
My gorgeous cousin getting married!
My amazing boyfriend!
A brilliant and memorable English class with teachers I'll never forget!