Sunday, 12 May 2013

The Arrow

Never before has this quote been so apt:

Alongside depression and anxiety recovery comes extreme highs and extreme lows. Those moments where you want to keep pushing and striving and focus towards the end goal, and those moments where you want to completely give up.

It's safe to say I've had a lot of those moments recently.

It's been a while since I've posted on my blog, mainly because life has been pretty stagnant. I haven't felt incredibly inspirational or had anything meaningful to say, I feel. I'm spending a lot of my time working, waiting, and not doing much else. Waiting for September, for my return to University and the start of something new. Unfortunately I'm spending a lot of time until then plagued with worry about every possible thing I can.

The hardest part about recovery is knowing that recovery won't happen overnight. It's a battle. Sometimes tiny minuscule events or something huge can allow you to feel like you've lost the battle. And our natural instinct is to give up.
But, as the quote says, when life, depression, whatever illness plagues you, drags you back with negativity, imagine it as an arrow, pulling you back and making you ready to launch into something far greater. Just like an arrow. Right now, the 'far greater' isn't here, but I have hope that it will be one day.

Despite some aspects of negativity, some good things have happened over the last few weeks or so:
  • I accepted my offer of a place at a London University and went to visit on Wednesday (and may or may not have fallen in love!)
  • I went to see We Will Rock You with my Dad (very rare that we have any time together so was strange but overall a wonderful evening)
  • I have placed a deposit to hire out a hall for my 21st birthday party in September!
  • A colleague at work (who has started just in the last week) took the time to approach me today and thank me for being so lovely and kind and helping her to settle in, which quite honestly made my day.
  • Celebrated both my Mum and Dads birthdays and also a good friend of mine and Nathan's where we had an epic Sunday BBQ last weekend catching up with their family and cuddling their little boy, Jay, who is just the cutest!
  • Celebrating my boyfriends final day as a CCTV operator and moving into being a full-time Metropolitan Police Officer!
  • Ordered Mumford and Sons tickets = need I say more?
It's nice to know that despite these constant battles, there are memories like these that I can look back on and remind myself of, and encourage me to keep going!

Have a wonderful week everyone!


2 comments:

  1. Thank you so much for this. I really needed to read this. You're so amazing and never forget that you impact people like me.

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    1. That really means a lot that you would take the time to write something like that. I really hope I continue to impact you in some way :)

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