I tend to post at the end of each year with a reflective summery on what occurred during the year. This year, I've been far more reluctant to formulate a post at all, as I've struggled a lot and have found it difficult to find things that I have been 'proud of' or anything to claim as momentous about my year. My year begun with the death of my good friend Amy, who many of you will know, and was mostly occupied with the reintroduction of my biological father into my life who had been absent for all of the 22 years I've been alive. Unfortunately, towards the end of this year, after being treated awfully for the majority of the 7/8 months we got to know each other, I decided at the beginning of this month to cut contact with him, which not only has made me feel extremely guilty but depressed at the thought of not being loved or wanted by my father for the second time. The year ended with a huge battle with anxious thoughts - I missed a lot of University this semester and despite unbelievably doing remarkably well in my coursework, being unable to leave the house and descending into that yearly downward spiral was once again a difficulty to face. I also started, and finished my Dialectical Behavioural Therapy after struggling to come to terms with a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder and finding it difficult to attend sessions in the October of this year, however I am planning to re-attend in January 2015. I also managed to get myself a new job, and quit after just two months. It seemed as if all of the things I attempted to do to make things right for myself and my life ultimately backfired.
Do not get me wrong, this year did have its positive moments, many in fact. And as always, I'm going to take you through my year in pictures - and show you the good parts of this year. I'll be back in my next post for a resolutions/year goals blog.
- I donated blood three times
- I begun the year on a high and went out with friends I hadn't seen in such a long time, on my own without the assistance of Nathan.
- My boyfriend and I had a wonderful overnight's stay in a London hotel on our 6th Valentines Day together as well as a trip to see We Will Rock You for the second time - our favourite musical!
- I reunited with this lovely lady after twelve years, Lauren. We lost contact with her many years ago and this was one of the best decisions my Mum has ever made - like a second mother to me and such an incredible confidante.
- We celebrated my boyfriend's 22nd birthday on the 13th of March.
- I celebrated the end of University Year One lectures with my incredible friend Lauren.
- We celebrated Good Friday with Lauren, Claire and our extended family. Sadly two weeks before Christmas we lost the lady in the middle of the second picture, Rita Nunn. An incredible part of my life growing up and I feel so honoured I got to see her many times before she died.
- I went to see We Will Rock You for the very final time - once again front row seats with my boyfriend and best friend!
- Summer begun. Barbeques with good friends.
- On the 9th of June Nathan and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary and I met my biological father for the first time. No pictures here for obvious reasons.
- I finally met my lovely friend Charlene after speaking with her for so long - my personal tutor at University introduced us both and it was a wonderful day!
- On the 10th of July I took my best friend to see Wicked for her first time and my forth at the theatre! No pictures here unfortunately!
- I completed my forth Race for Life race!
- Had a wonderful champagne afternoon tea with Ellis!
- Had a lovely time with Lauren trying to find book benches, having my first tequila shot and discovering our new favourite restaurant in Greenwich....
- This time of year was a huge struggle regarding my father - but through this I got to meet my wonderful cousin Tania who I'd now consider one of my closest friends as well as family, and my grandmother.
- I went for the very first time to watch the Stock Car racing at Arena Essex with Nathan.
- On World Mental Health Day I made this video - again which was posted to Facebook about my struggles and being more open about mental health.
- I was lucky enough to attend the Mind Media Awards - and the documentary I was involved in - Diaries of a Broken Mind - won an award! It was a wonderful night and I got to meet one of my YouTube idols, Rebecca Brown who is one of my inspirations and it was an absolute honour to meet her!
- Nathan and I travelled up to Birmingham and stayed in a lush hotel for two nights - as well as attended the MCM Comicon event!
- I celebrated Christmas with my best friends (above) at a meal of 19 people! As well as with my lovely University friends - pictured below.
- On the 9th December, 6 months after meeting my father, I decided to eliminate all contact with him. It was a sudden decision, and feels like the best and the worst decision all at the same time. It's so strange and bizarre to do something for myself and for my own benefit - and hugely like I've let so many people down, but I have been hurt so much by him.
- Christmas work party :)
- The night after my work party I went to see Michael Buble at the O2 Arena with my mother - no pictures from this night as we were both severely hungover from work parties and looked horrific - but was an incredible night nonetheless!
- First time at Winter Wonderland with my boyfriend!
- Had a lovely Christmas Eve and saw recent and old friends.
So there you have it - a snippet of the highlights of my year The pictures included are of my favourite memories this year - and it's interesting to look back and see just how many there were as it never feels as if there are enough.
I'll be back in a few days with my 2015 goals post.
Have a lovely week!