It is officially four days into a brand spanking new year - and what once absolutely terrified me about the new year died down slightly as I managed to somehow inherit largely positive vibes about the upcoming year. I signed up for my first 5k race of the year, a Where's Wally Fun Run in Victoria Park, London - to raise money for the National Literacy Trust, in March (link to my sponsorship page to be found here.) I've organised meet ups with good friends, some of whom I haven't seen in a long time. I've contacted my therapist to arrange returning to his DBT sessions. I've booked my trip to the Shard with Nathan in February, an afternoon tea on the Thames in a few weeks as well as hopefully booking a one night spa break in March and a holiday, once I'm paid! I've been yoga-ing, cooking, speaking to people, reading, and really trying hard to start afresh.
I have also devised a kind of schedule with my blog posting - in that I will be uploading posts every Sunday at a minimum (unless I feel the need to upload more blogs during the week). An idea of mine is to post a short summary of my month on the last Sunday of each month - documenting the things I got up to and the highlights of the month as well as the things I have learnt during the month, in a hope that I'll have great things to reflect on at the end of the year as well as a method of documenting progress in my recovery.
Ultimately, this year isn't going to bring huge change for me. I won't be graduating, I won't be moving out of my parents house, I won't be getting a full-time job, I won't be travelling the world or getting married. I won't be moving on with my life in the way all of my friends seem to be. Which saddens me as it reminds me how little I have to be proud of, to tell people about, to congratulate myself on. But if I can use this year to attempt to perfect the small things, like perfecting my diet and exercise routine, combatting my anxiety and seeing people more, then the upcoming challenges that 2016 will bring will indefinitely be a lot more achievable. I wanted to use my time more effectively - if I'm having a bad anxiety day and want to stay in the house - at LEAST make that time productive and write blogs, apply for placements, try out some cooking, do some exercise, and do whatever I can to get me out of that slump, rather than simply succumbing to the slump because it seems easy.
Without a doubt, this year, despite it not being a year for change seems far more optimistic than previous years - and I need to remind myself of that constantly if I'm ever going to move forward.
Please also feel free to advise me on posts or videos that you wish to see from me, as I'd be more than happy to assist.
Until next time, have a wonderful week!